Godly Grief Produces Repentance
What is grief? Until a few years ago, this wasn’t a topic I gave much thought about. I had seen the pain of it second-hand. I truly thought I understood what it meant, until a few years back. But the reality is that everyone eventually walks through some measure of it. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the absence of something you deeply desire, or simply the daily hardships of life, we all experience grief in different ways.
In my own life, I walk daily with two major griefs: the loss of my precious father in 2022 and the ongoing grief of not having children. Losing my dad completely shook me; it tore me apart, but it also built me up and gave me a new perspective. When I look at who I was before that moment and who I am now, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, I see two completely different people.
In 2 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul speaks specifically about godly grief. This made me stop and process my own journey: Are my griefs godly or ungodly? What is the difference?
Defining Our Sorrow
Based on Scripture and my own experience, here is how we can distinguish between these two paths:
- Godly Grief (Contrite Sorrow): This is a grief that is focused on our relationship with God. It is defined as sorrow “according to the will of God” and is rooted in a desire to turn back to Him. It doesn’t focus on the punishment or the pain, but on the reality of our need for the Father.
- Worldly (Ungodly) Grief: This is a distress centered on the self and the consequences of sin or loss, rather than on God. Paul warns that this type of grief “produces death”. I have seen this grief drive people to their graves; it is a heavy, hopeless weight that leads to denial and self-protection.
The Fruit of Godly Grief
When we allow our grief to be “godly,” it produces a specific kind of fruit in our lives. Paul lists seven marks of this transformation in 2 Corinthians 7:11:
- Earnestness: A sense of urgency to turn toward what is right.
- Eagerness to clear yourselves: A desire to set the record straight and seek forgiveness.
- Indignation: A healthy disgust for the sin or the distance between us and God.
- Fear: A healthy, reverent awareness of God’s holiness.
- Longing: A deep desire for reconciliation and connection with the Lord.
- Zeal: A renewed passion for seeing God’s will done.
- Punishment (Avenging of Wrong): A readiness to see justice done and to right the wrongs committed.
Turning Pain into Purpose
The grief of losing my dad truly opened my eyes to how temporary our time is on earth. It brought my family closer as we studied the Word together using the lessons he left behind. This didn’t just change our relationships; it ignited a “God-sized dream” for ministry. My father lived and breathed Jesus, and that same Spirit is now igniting a dream in my heart to make Jesus known.
I have also watched a dear friend walk through recent grief. Instead of being crushed, I saw the Lord transform her family to look more like Him daily. Their faith grew, and they were able to share the Gospel through their pain.